My Frenemy Costco

If you have never had the pleasure of walking into a Costco, the best analogy I can provide is that it is like a siren from Greek mythology – beautiful, luring you in with its striking wall of TVs and attractive warehouse prices, but eventually it consumes you until at last it owns you.  And that is where I found myself Saturday as I upgraded to an executive membership.

My relationship with Costco started out innocently enough, like most people I know - paper products.  We’re out of toilet paper, time to go to Costco.  We are having a party this weekend; let’s pick up plastic cups and plates at Costco.  From there it logically metastasizes to toiletries.  I already buy Aveeno lotion at Target, but I can get three times as much for a dollar more at Costco.  Wow, I can get a year’s supply of razor blades and it only costs how much!?!  

After toiletries come snacks (crackers, trail mix, granola bars) and staples (milk, meat and produce).  Then something interesting happens, rather than go to Costco to buy what you use, what you use slowly gets defined by what Costco carries.  Case in point, I never used to use Dove shampoo, now I use the shampoo, conditioner, body wash and moisturizing bar.  Why?  Because Costco carries it AND they had a coupon.

I don’t remember Costco having coupons growing up, but at least for the last five years this has been a hot item I eagerly look forward to in my mailbox every month.  I plan my shopping trips around the coupon book.  Stocking up on items when they are featured, holding off on those that aren’t hopping that next month, please God, be there.

Costco has got consumers down to a science.  They don’t tell you when you sign up, that you can’t leave the store without spending at least $100.  I went last weekend to buy soap, just soap (I had a coupon).  I ended up buying soap, trail mix, tennis shoes, swim trunks and yogurt.  If you can think of it, or even if you can’t, Costco carries it. In addition to what you can buy in the warehouse, you can also purchase vacations, home improvements (from flooring to swing sets), appliances, clothes, flowers, you can even buy coffins!  We now buy all our gas exclusively from Costco.

A little over a year ago we looked at how much we were spending at Costco and decided it would be smart to open a Costco Amex, to cash in on 1% back on all we spend at the warehouse where otherwise we couldn’t because they don’t accept credit cards plus 3% on gas from Costco.

For over a year Costco has been bugging us to upgrade our membership.  An enthusiastic employee would accost us after random shopping excursions to tell us how much we would save if we just upgraded (2% on everything you buy in addition to the Amex benefit).  It made sense, but we were always in a hurry to get home or go on to the next thing that we never made the switch.  That is until Saturday. 

It is to the point where when I look around my house, well over 50% of what comes in, comes from Costco.  They own me, and I think I might just be okay with that.